Death Star Petition - White House Shows Off 'Star Wars' Trivia: 34,000 Voices Cried Out and Were Answered

Someone at the White House has a sense of humor and an encyclopedic knowledge of all things Jedi.

The White House responded to a petition seeking funds to build a "Death Star," the moon-sized weapon of mass destruction that obliterates the entire planet of Alderaan in the Star Wars film franchise, with its own tongue-in-cheek answer that demonstrated a striking knowledge of the galaxy far, far away.

Sure, it would cost 53,000 times as much as the national debt to build a single Death Star, but that's a pittance for a battle station, even one that may or may not be fully operational. And the Emperor built two.

Taxing an entire galaxy has its benefits.

But the White House's response was a contrite, "The Administration does not support blowing up planets." Typical bleeding heart liberals.

Fans will catch plenty of references to garbage compactors, light sabers and the infuriating duration (or is it distance?) of the Kessel Run sprinkled throughout a brief that expertly segues into U.S. government initiatives and programs.

While there's no mention of a White House plan to clone Natalie Portman, Ewan McGregor, Billy Dee Williams or Carrie Fisher, neither is there any mention of Gungans or Ewoks, so it's a wash.

Of course, why were ostensibly freedom-loving Americans clamoring for a Death Star? Over 34,000 people signed the original petition calling for one to be built. Palpatine did always prefer to work through legal channels whenever possible.

The White House is obligated to respond to any petitions that garner more than 25,000 signatures, so it's nice to see even politicians and bureaucrats can take a little time to have fun and connect with the public over pop culture phenomena.

Of course, maybe Paul Shawcross, the author of the response, just looked everything up on Wookieepedia (real website, very informative, not an original pun), but I suspect he's no untrained Padawan.

Since the administration has come down against a Death Star, it seems likely that Republicans will be for it. Forget the deficit, what if China builds one first?

In fact, Obama isn't Hitler; he's the Emperor! He's already initiated Executive Order 66 and wiped out all the Jedi! Do you see any Jedi around? And who else can issue an executive order but the chief executive? Answer me that, stormtrooper!

Maybe one of the new freshmen Republicans in the House of Representatives is a Lucas fan. We can only hope. A new hope.