Cristiano Ronaldo's Autograph Analyzed in Failed Attempt by Spanish Press To Reveal Why He is Sad

Over the weekend, Crisitnao Ronaldo, nicknamed Tristiano by the Spanish press, threw his latest tantrum after he refused to celebrate his two goals during Real Madrid's first victory of the season.

Tristiano immediately went out and told the world that he was "Not Happy" and added that the guys at Real Madrid know why. Questions immediately ran rampant as the world speculated over the posterboy's discontent. Was it money? Was it the lack of attention for the Ballon D'Or?

Ronaldo gave no answers so the Spanish press determined that they would be the ones to make the discovery. And their method was ingenious: Analyze the Soccer Player's handwriting. The geniuses over at the Madrid-based paper Marca submitted a vintage Ronaldo autograph to a company called Grafoclic to analyze the penmanship.

Fascinatingly, they found a great deal about Ronaldo's psychology that no one could have ever concluded on their own. Here are a few comments made by the professional handwriting analysts.

Alberto Asiain, manager of Grafoclic stated in regards to the angle of the signature that ""The first thing is that the signature is tilted upwards. This indicates high ambitions and desire to excel." Asiain fails to acknowledge or even consider that the paper may have been tilted when the Superstar signed it.

Regarding the capitalization, Asiain was even more insightful: ""The word 'Ronaldo' dominates and appears complete, with a simple C referring to Christian. Capitalization reveals egocentric traits."

He also offered brilliant information on why Ronaldo includes that iconic 7 in the signature: "It indicates is that he is a reserved man, who does not speak of his personal life, and only the professional when strictly necessary.

"In his signature the 'C' is separated from 'Ronaldo', "marking a clear gap between the professional and strictly personal."

So does that mean the "C" represents the personal and the "Ronaldo" the professional?

Regarding Ronaldo's personality he concludes with: "Another personality trait that appears very strong in his autograph is that he is kind, polite and outgoing whenever he is in the spotlight, something that is reflected in the union of the letters."

He also added that the "large irregularities in the size of the letters indicate a big ego."

So Cristiano Ronaldo has a big ego, is reserved with his personal life, and is outgoing when he ahs the spotlight? Extremely revealing information on a soccer player no one knows about. I wonder if Asian could not have gathered this information from clicking on an article about any Superstar Millionaire soccer athlete.

The exercise clearly indicated the exaggeration and inefficiency of the Press in dealing with celebrity issues.

As of Wednesday afternoon, no one knows what is wrong with Ronaldo. He tweeted to confirm that money wasn't the issue, but gave no explanation. However, Brooks Peck over at Yahoo Sports offers a humorous laundry list of reasons why Tristiano is having his latest emotional trauma.

Watch Ronaldo Refuse to Celebrate his first goal on Sunday HERE.