Fantasy football owners know, the only thing more important than selecting a stalwart running back in the first round is creating a name that brings about jealousy.
By this point, Aaron Hernandez-themed teams are as hackneyed as countless "deflategate" stories that dominated headlines throughout the summer; especially since Tom Brady et al gave us so many more options to choose from.
Here is a team-by-team guide of name mashup made up of the players you love and the players that will, yet again, cost you a league title:
Arizona Cardinals - Ellington Coat Factory (Andre Ellington); Tyrann, Tyrann so far away (Tyrann Mathieu)
Atlanta Falcons - Julio Think You Are? (Julio Jones), Horton Hears a Julio; Matty Ice, Ice Baby (Matt Ryan)
Baltimore Ravens - Frosted Flaccos (Joe Flacco), Waka Flacco Flame; May the Forsett Be with You (Justin Forsett), Game, Forsett, Match
Buffalo Bills - May God Gave Percy on Your Soul (Percy Harvin), Lord have Percy; Don't Pull a Hammy Watkins (Sammy Watkins); Going Incognito (Richie Incognito)
Carolina Panthers - Wham Bam Thank You Cam (Cam Newton); It's all about the Kelvin Benjamins, Scoring in Funchess (Devin Funchess), Points by the Funchess
Chicago Bears - Not My Forte (Matt Forte), Drinkin' Fortes, Forte-yard Dash, The Forte-year-old virgin, Edward Fortehands; Alshon Joffrey (Alshon Jeffrey)
Cincinnati Bengals - Pardon me Eiferted (Tyler Eifert); Over the Jeremy Hill
Cleveland Browns - Manziel in Distress (Johnny Manziel); Taste the Dwayne Bowe, I make it Dwayne on these Bows, Terrance West-eros
Dallas Cowboys - The Walking Dez (Dez Bryant), Dez-ed and Confused, Dez Dispenser, Romophobic (Tony Romo), Romocop; Witten Mittens (Jason Witten), Smitten by Witten
Denver Broncos - Demore Demaryius (Demaryius Thomas), Demaryious Targaryen; Peyton Old Manning
Detroit Lions - Stafford Infection (Matt Stafford), Inglorious Staffords; Joiquing off (Joique Bell), Calvin and the Chipmunks (Calvin Johnson), Golden Tate Bridge, Taters Gonna Tate
Green Bay Packers - Jordy is the New Thirty (Jordy Nelson); Mr. Rodgers' Neighborhood (Aaron Rodgers), Duck Rodgers in the 24 ½ Century; Mason Crosby, Stills & Nash; Corn on the Cobb (Randall Cobb); Davante's Peak (Davante Adams), Davante's Inferno; Red Hot Julius Peppers
Houston Texans - Turn Down for Watt (J.J. Watt); Arian Foster the People, Arian the Hendersons
Indianapolis Colts - Multiple Goregasms (Frank Gore); T.Y.lenol (T.Y. Hilton); Up All Night Getting Lucky (Andrew Luck), the Luckness Monster, Getting Lucky at the Hilton
Jacksonville Jaguars - Teenage Mutant Ninja Bortles (Blake Bortles); Henne Given Sunday (Chad Henne)
Kansas City Chiefs - Gotta Catch Jamaal (Jamaal Charles), Jamaal about that Bass, Charles in Charge
Miami Dolphins - Suh Girls, One Cup (Ndamukong Suh), SUHckerpuch, Fairly Suh I'll win, Kung Suh Panda
Minnesota Vikings - Troubled Bridgewaters (Teddy Bridgewater), the Bridge to Teddybithia; Adrian Beaterson (Adrian Peterson), the Switch Hitters, Purple People Beaters
New England Patriots - P.S.I New England, Discount Belichick (head coach Bill Belichick); Gronkey Kong (Rob Gronkowski), Gronk if you're Horny, Gronkey Punch, Momma Said Gronk You Out; Ladies and Edelman (Julian Edelman); Brady Gaga (Tom Brady), Luck be a Brady Tonight, The Brady Bunch, Chronic Masterdeflator; Medula Amendola (Danny Amendola)
New Orleans Saints - 50 Shades of Grayson (Garrett Grayson); Kenny Stills, Nash & Young; Breesus, King of the Drews (Drew Brees), Gonna Brees Right Bayou
New York Giants - Saved by Odell (Odell Beckham Jr.), You Down with ODB?, Odell Naw!, For Whom Odell Tolls, Bend it Like Beckham; Rage Against the Vereen (Shane Vereen), Vereenial Disease; Cruz Control (Victor Cruz); The Playbook of Eli (Eli Manning); JPP You're A Firework! (Jason Pierre Paul)
New York Jets - Forgetting Brandon Marshall, Geno 911 (Geno Smith)
Oakland Raiders - That's Amari! (Amari Cooper), Cooper Troopers; Sit and Ponder (Christian Ponder); Justin Tuck and Roll; Khalil Mack Attack
Philadelphia Eagles - It's Always Runny in Philadelphia; Tebows before Hoes (Tim Tebow); My Ball Zack Ertz, the Ertz Locker; Eat Drink and D. Murray (DeMarco Murray), DeMarco Polo, Jurassic Parkey (Cody Parkey); Tootsie Sproles (Darren Sproles); Inglorious Bradfords (Sam Bradford)
Pittsburgh Steelers - Le'Veon on a Prayer (Le'Veon Bell), Hell's Le'Veon Bells
St. Louis Rams - Just Gurley Things (Todd Gurley), You Play Ball like a Gurley, Gone Fishering (head coach Jeff Fisher)
San Diego Chargers - In a Van Down by the Rivers (Philip Rivers); Take it to the Woodhead (Danny Woodhead)
San Francisco 49ers - Hyde Your Kids Hyde Your Wife (Carlos Hyde), Nowhere to Run Nowhere to Hyde; The Never-ending Torrey (Torrey Smith); The Boldin the Beautiful (Anquan Boldin); Kaepernickle and Dime (Colin Kaepernick)
Seattle Seahawks - InstaJimmyGraham (Jimmy Graham); My Favorite Marshawn (Marshawn Lynch), Beauty and the Beast mode, Lynch Mob; Everyday I'm Russell'in (Russell Wilson)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Jameis and the Giant Peach (Jameis Winston); Stairway to Evans (Mike Evans), Magic Mike Evans, Doug R. R. Martin (Doug Martin)
Tennessee Titans - You Sankey My Battleship (Bishop Sankey), Do the Sankey Leg; Marcus Mari-otto (Marcus Mariota), Super Mariota Bros.
Washington Redskins - Tickle Me Al-Mo (Alfred Morris); the Real McCoy (Colt McCoy); RG-3PO (Robert Griffin III)