Saturday Night Live seemed to acknowledge that sometimes the jokes just write themselves in the cold-open first segment of its inaugural show of 2013, taking quick aim at readymade targets like Lance Armstrong for his steroid use confession and Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te'o and his fake girlfriend.
SNL's Taran Killam parodied CNN news show anchor Piers Morgan as he hosted the last week's who's who of celebrity schadenfreude: Armstrong, Te'o, and Jodie Foster. Referring to Morgan as, "the British Mario Lopez," Killam interviewed Jason Sudeikeis' Lance Armstrong about confessing to steroid use recently on Oprah.
Introducing the disgraced cyclist as "the most despicable, vile human being ever to set foot on this Earth," Killam's Morgan expertly reproduced the tone of the anchor's tempter tantrum reaction to Armstrong's doping confession on twitter.
"@piersmorgan What a snivelling, lying, cheating little wretch @lancearmstrong revealed himself to be tonight. I hope he now just disappears. #LiveWrong," tweeted television host Piers Morgan.
Taking up a sly southern drawl and smarmy swagger, Sudeikeis easily captured the disingenuous, "I'm sorry I'm not sorry," temperament of the Oprah interview.
Armstrong's confession last week came as a shocking reversal for the athlete who's insisted in public statements, interviews and court proceedings for years that he never used steroids.
Armstrong was unceremoniously stripped of his seven Tour de France titles after the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency released a damning 1,000-page report accusing him of masterminding a long-running doping scheme. USADA chief executive Travis Tygart said the drug regimen Armstrong practiced while leading the U.S. Postal Service team was, "The most sophisticated, professionalized and successful doping program that sport has ever seen."
Referencing Tygart's words, when asked about just how sophisticated his steroid regimen was, Sudeikis cockily explained, "Is that sophisticated? I don't know ... Is that cheating? Maybe? Am I sorry I did it? Yes ... -ish ... P.S. No."
The clip goes on the further skewer Te'o, expertly played by heavy mouth breathing Bobby Moynihan, and Jodie Foster, portrayed by Kate McKinnon.